Friday Proverb - the fridge man

Recently Andrew and I purchased a new fridge in anticipation of our soon to be expanded family. His old "bachelor fridge" that he brought into our marriage was barely big enough for the two of us, and required creative stacking when we entertained, so we concluded that it was time to upsize.

As sometimes happens with new appliances, our new fridge wasn't everything we hoped it would be - the vegies kept on freezing. Bad news for us and our furry friends in the backyard. So we rang the manufacturer, and the fridge man came to take care of things for us.

Although the fridge man eventually proved to be an able mechanic, he did not score highly in the emotional intelligence department. He didn't really communicate well, disappeared mysteriously for a while (though when he returned he smelled strongly of cigarette smoke), and was quite rude and arrogant in his manner.

Now here is where we turn to what I should have done in response, which contrasts somewhat with what I actually did. Proverbs 12:16 says:

Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.

Given the fridge man's obvious competence in the matter of repairing fridges, I should have just left him to it. Andrew, who is a more even tempered individual than me, was at home and was happy to deal with him.

However, I stayed, showed my annoyance, argued with the fridge man and then stormed out into the backyard. Those who know me personally may think this out of character, although one or two who know me very closely may not be surprised at all.

There are moments in life when it is much better to overlook insulting behaviour, especially for the sake of the gospel. When the fridge man came into our house, he would have seen a large cross over the doorway that goes into our kitchen, a pile of Bibles on the coffee table, and numerous missionary prayer cards on our fridge. How much better would it have been had he also seen an example of Christian patience and love at work.

Hopefully I will do better the next time something like that happens. Thankfully, God's grace to me in Christ is more than big enough to deal with my ungracious behaviour.

Friday Proverb - house building

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

This one looks like a no brainer, after all, only an idiot would tear down her own house! However, while I don't go around demolishing my living quarters (though Andrew describes my approach to gardening with the phrase "rip rip woodchip") there are plenty of times when I figuratively do tear down my house. Times when I speak or write or act hastily without thinking through the consequences of my behaviour for others and even myself. Or simply times when I just amble on with life without considering what I'm doing or what the end effect of my choices will be.

So how do I change? I need to work out how to build my own house. This involves catching myself before I act destructively. Asking questions helps. Am I just needing to vent, or can I say words that will bring healing, growth or change? What is the ultimate direction of my plans, big and small? Am I just aimlessly doing stuff, or do I work as a builder? This applies in physical, intellectual and relational realms, among others.

A few examples:

• physical - getting house ready for baby. Am I making preparations that will actually benefit our baby? How many of the things on my list are going to build our family in the right kind of way? Is it being done in such a way that we don't ruin our budget, or, less obviously, our spiritual lives?

• intellectual - am I seeking to love God with my mind? Am I thinking about things that will help me to see the world more and more as He does, or am I filling it with rubbish?

• relational - if I give vent to my emotions now what will the end result be? How can I work to resolve the problem so that this relationship improves?

Friday Proverb - chosen with holidays in mind

As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed. (Proverbs 26:14)

Friday Proverb

On Thursday evenings Andrew and I lead a small group for people who've recently graduated from uni, and in the last few weeks we've been learning from the Bible about work together. The last two weeks we've been looking at Proverbs about the world of work together. Here's a Proverb that got us talking:

“It’s no good, it’s no good!” says the buyer— then goes off and boasts about the purchase. (Proverbs 20:14)

This is no moral guideline for living, rather an astute observation about how the world of buying and selling works. The application for a person in retail business is obvious - don't be duped into reducing a price because of unreasonable complaints. I think that for the rest of us it's a warning about considering and weighing up the negative feedback that others give us. How serious are they? Realistically speaking, how much of a problem is it? Are they playing us for more than they can reasonably expect?

There are plenty of balancing Proverbs that warn us to listen to advice and feedback so this can't be telling us to just ignore any and every negative evaluation. Just give some thought to the motivations of the evaluator.